Marcel Proust, the person and his family – A loving family 

From the many letters Marcel wrote in response to the condolences received by the family following the death of Adrien Proust in 1903, we select a quote that testifies to his respect, love, and gratitude towards his parents: 

“Poor health (which I now bless for having given me the best years of my life) had prevented me from going out almost ever for the past few years. I was always with my parents. I do not say that my affection for them had grown greater, that was perhaps not possible. But it had given me daily joys, what do I say, every hour, that I would not have known without it. The presence of my parents blended an infinite sweetness, almost unnoticed at the time, too much felt alas now, and a kind of consecration into the simplest things, the most insignificant acts.14 

Another letter allows us to witness the warm relationships within the Proust family and the delicate way they treated each other, especially the increasingly ailing Marcel. Shortly after the death of his father, Marcel wrote to his friend Princesse de Caraman-Chimay: 

“Papa had left so well. And then at four o’clock I heard voices in the corridor and as I rang for them not to talk because we always kept quiet when I was resting, Mama through the open door without me seeing her told me that I should not be angry (if you knew how gently she said that to me) that they had just telephoned that Papa had been taken ill at the Faculty and was being brought back.15 

While every family experience difficult periods, arguments, misunderstandings, unfulfilled expectations, and moments of distance, in the Proust household, these instances are less documented. Until the death of his parents, Marcel lived with them, and there are accounts of the loving interactions they shared: 

“When Papa, who was as active as I am lazy and went out every morning, would come back up with the mail, he would say to me, knowing my joy: ‘A letter from Mme de Noailles.’ And Mama would scold him, saying: ‘Don’t take away his pleasure by telling him in advance.’ And I assure you it was a very touching comedy16.” 

As for Marcel’s relationship with his mother, her deep affection, care, protectiveness, and indulgence are well known. She dedicated her life to nurturing and pampering her son, creating a close bond that would profoundly impact his life. 

Jeanne Proust never fully recovered from the death of her husband, and in 1905, she followed him to the grave. Shortly after her passing, Marcel wrote to his friend Anne de Noailles:  

“She is taking my life with her, just as Papa had taken hers17.” 

The father-son relationship: misconceptions and nuances  

Some have suggested that Marcel’s relationship with his father was strained and difficult. One even went as far as claiming that such tension is inevitable between eldest sons and their fathers. This simplistic generalization is sheer amateur psychology and fails to capture the complexities of their dynamic. 

The portrayal of the father figure in Marcel’s unfinished novel Jean Santeuil is despite its fictional nature, often taken as biographical truth and this is plainly wrong. Adrien Proust was a hardworking man who spent much of his time away from home, leaving the primary responsibility of raising both sons to his wife. This arrangement was not uncommon in that era and social milieu. 

Of course, father Proust wanted his eldest son to come out well. Of course, there have been moments of tension within the Proust household regarding Marcel’s lifestyle choices. Of course, it must have been easier for the father to see how his athletic youngest son thundered through life, school and then his medical career.  

Adrien Proust himself was a prolific writer, but exclusively in the realm of professional literature. However, no letters from him are known to exist, leaving room for speculation that often reflects the interpreter’s own biases rather than factual evidence. 

Amidst the speculations and debates surrounding Marcel Proust’s relationship with his father, there are undeniable signs of a warm and supportive bond between the two.  

Jean-Yves Tadié, in his biography of Marcel Proust, mentions that Adrien Proust, upon reading his son’s article in Le Mensuel in 1890, remarked that Marcel would one day be inducted into the Académie française18. This anecdote suggests Adrien’s recognition of his son’s talent and potential. 

Robert de Montesquiou schrijft aan Marcel:  

‘As far as you are concerned, it was your Father who, I remember, one day when I met him, gave me this feeling of the absolute, in the noble transposition of ‘My little ones are pretty’. When I asked him about you, he replied: ‘Marcel is working on his cathedrals’. And the way he articulated the pronoun told me that, in his eyes, the Middle Ages, as it should be, had worked only for you, cutting, and bending stone’19 

Marcel dedicates his translation of Ruskin’s Bible d’Amiens to his father. 

While their dynamic may not have been without its complexities, there was  

A brotherly bond of reciprocal respect and admiration 

In defiance of speculation regarding the rivalry between the two brothers and Marcel’s envy towards his younger brother who -dixit the biographer Painter and some psychoanalysts- came to threaten his exclusive place in his Maman’s heart, facts show a deep-seated respect and admiration that transcended any perceived rivalry or resentment. 

Marcel, for whom writing and publishing were central to his existence, sent his first book, Les Plaisirs et les Jours, to Robert with a handwritten inscription, a poignant quote from Corneille: O brother, dearer than the daylight “20. This gesture highlights the deep affection and admiration Marcel held for his brother. 

In 1901, Marcel wrote to his mother, “Dick (=Robert) is truly a pearl, morally, intellectually, and physically21.” This statement underscores Marcel’s high regard for his brother’s qualities. 

Marcel served as the “garçon d’honneur” (best man) at his brother’s wedding in 1903, a symbolic gesture that further reinforces the closeness of their bond. 

Robert Proust’s tribute to his brother Marcel further exemplifies the mutual respect and admiration they shared: 

“No matter how far back I go in my childhood memories, to that hazy period when the first crystallizations of memory take place, I constantly find the image of my brother watching over me with an infinite sweetness, enveloping and almost maternal22.” 

The most profound tribute, however, lies in Robert’s unwavering dedication to preserving and sharing Marcel’s literary legacy. Despite his demanding professional life, Robert, along with Jacques Rivière, invested years of meticulous effort in piecing together the remaining volumes of A la recherche du temps perdu from notebooks, loose sheets, manuscripts, and proofs, ultimately bringing Marcel’s masterpiece to the world.